Meme transcription:
Panel 1 of 3: A cute dog looks asks, “pls fix problem??”
Panel 2 of 3: The dog has become upset and says, “No Info!!”
Panel 3 of 3: The dog looks very angry and says “only fix”
Me in tech support.
Customer calls: “Internet is not working!!”
Me: “Router lights status?”
Customer: “Can’t tell.”
Me: “Why?”
Customer: “Router still in box.”
Me: “…?”
Me (pretends it was just an error of communication): “Can you please describe the lights on your router?”
Customer: “I can’t. It’s still in the packaging. The box is on my table.”
Me: “…??? … You … need at least electricity to power this device.”
Customer spirals into rage and madness: “I ordered wireless internet!! I won’t plug any cables in! I did not want any wires!!!”
As a high school student, I had a job like this for about a week. On my last day, I received this call just like yours and I said “You are quite possibly the stupidest person I’ve ever interacted with” because they were yelling this type of nonsense and screaming over me.
I do not regret my exit to the call center work life. You people have a special type of patience and deserve to be paid far more.
No customer service reps? Company fails.
I mean, nowadays you can get wireless internet – via LTE/5G. For technologically illiterate users, I’d put the blame on whoever sold them a WiFi router.
Me: Contacts tech support while providing detailed information about the issue and what I’ve already tried.
Support: Tells me to try what I’ve already tried without fully reading my ticket.
I hate this, especially when you wait several days for reply.
I understand them. Someone saying they took the troubleshooting steps doesn’t mean they took them.
Also not everyone is on the same technical level. “I pressed the button on the screen. I thought that means the modem is off!”
My recent gem was essentially a reply of “I couldn’t find anything on Google about it” and a “resolved” flag.
You see the problem on my machine, understand it’s significantly affecting the organization, and know who the software vendor is.
Fucking call them.
Works both ways.
- Raise bug with as much info as possible following template
- Did you try reboot, clear cache?
- You did? Ok, duplicate
- Never fixed.
“Sir please restart your computer and do sfc /scannow please”
“I already said that I’ve restarted the computer and I’m not using Windows.”
“Okay sir please open Windows Update”
“???”
I once saw a bug report from a customer. They wrote: “I went to the shower, came back and the program crashed.” Sadly, we didn’t have shower in the office to reproduce.
Similarly, I had a bug report that said “I went to lunch and when I came back it crashed”. For some reason though my manager wouldn’t pay me to go out to lunch to reproduce the issue.
Used to do outsourced IT for a lot of different companies including some large law firms.
Literally had one asshole lawyer put in tickets every time which consisted of something like:
“There’s something wrong on my computer. I’ll be away from my desk from 6:22 to 6:27, have it fixed by the time I get back.”
Queue nothing getting fixed and this removed trying to leverage that as a reason why their law firm of 250 people didn’t need IT services.
One of the reasons I moved on from IT operations. Management considers your department to be nothing more than a cost center and then goes all surprised Pikachu face when they take an axe to the IT budget and then everything inevitably goes to shit.
If you don’t mind me asking, where did u end up after leaving IT?
Software engineering. I was actually surprised at how few people I’ve met in software engineering that originally came from IT. It can be an advantage because a lot of newbies in the field have no idea how infrastructure works at the enterprise level.
I was in IT Ops for 12 years and made it to the Director level. The further up the ladder you go, the less you work with technology and the more your ability to deal with corporate politics and leadership skills matters. I actually didn’t mind that part. I enjoyed helping my team grow and develop their skills. Changing jobs at that level often means packing up and moving halfway across the country. That was especially true before the pandemic. I came really close to doing that. Then the pandemic hit and the company I was negotiating with suspended all hiring. I was actually relieved. Honestly, I didn’t want to move my family halfway across the country. That’s when I decided my career in IT was coming to a close.
Software engineering isn’t for everyone. To excel at it, you gotta understand that it really is an engineering discipline. It’s relentless problem solving. It pays well when you get to a certain level but the attrition level early on is fairly high because people get into it thinking it’s easy money not realizing that 2 out of 3 projects they’ll be assigned to is just being thrown into some dumpster fire of a code base, that someone else set ablaze, and expected to make something of it. Half the time management doesn’t even know what they want the app it to do so in that respect it’s not that different from IT Ops.
Is there a list somewhere of what words end up being “removed” or is it just kind of a case by case thing on lemmy.ml? Always wonder what the person said.
Would like to know too. Also a way to turn it off.
My first tech job was with a place that did net security mostly marketed to fast food places. Some of the evening shift calls had me questioning reality since most of the people I talked to where fry cooks first, shift managers second, and by default of seniority the tech for a site as needed.
Countless ‘the computer won’t turn on’ calls which ended up being them pushing the power on the monitor.
The one that called up just to listen to our hold music until I answered, which was actually pretty good, sort of an industrial/techno thing.
CS: The system just crashed, can I turn it back on? Me: Sure go ahead and let me know if there are any errors. CS: Hold on I can’t see the button, the power is still out…
CS: Our internet is being really flakey. Me: What lights are on at the gateway? CS: It’s hard to tell, it’s underneeth the pop machine, by the way the pop won’t stop spraying, how do I fix that?
And the one who got so frustrated with trying to fix things they hucked the firewall/gateway into the deepfryer and asked for a RMA.
I heard a story and saw a photo of a literally frozen router (as in, partially submerged in ice) before. Didn’t expect a literally (deep)fried one too.
Having worked as a phone monkey and letter monkey previously, this is painfully accurate. The first skill you have to learn is effective questioning, as you only get a certain number of question attempts and the number is different per user.
Had a 1st level rep call me once about a ticket I’d submitted (apparently they’re required to initiate contact at least once?), say “Right, I see your ticket notes here, does the issue persist? Alright, I’ll escalate it to the 2nd level, have a nice day!” and I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard any rep so cheerful.
That’s when you install Google Ultron and call it a day
Looking up this meme was worth it
Works with some values but not with others.
So which values work and which don’t?
Took me ages on info to figure out Mortal Kombat 1 crashes on startup because Denuvo
I remember playing mortal Kombat 1 on the super Nintendo, how the fucking fuck did they put denuvo on a 4 mb cartridge?!
I mean it was easy when they took the blood out.
You’re confused by the mega drive / genesis version. The super Nintendo version was censored and didn’t have any blood.
No no no no no, I understand I was just making a joke. You see the other posters said that it was amazing that they were able to fit to Denuvo into a Super Nintendo cartridge
Then I responded, that it was easy to fit it in once they removed all the blood, directly referencing the fact of the Super Nintendo version had sweat instead of blood
Oh… oh! Now I get it! That’s actually a great joke! 🤣
Also, submit
dailyhourly progress reports providing a detailed accounting of the steps you are taking to work on this. But please, no more than half a sentence, bc I won’t be reading them anyway.Yeah, I bought a phone from a brand popular in a… very populated country, so all I can’t say is: “sir please fix the problem immediately”
