Snarky or not, you’re totally right.

I remember running into this issue recently, and I swear I did the same DuckDuckGo search as you did, but turned up entirely blank in terms of connecting my phone to a computer before going to the repair shop.

Either that or I tried the suggested remedies and came up blank, which seems highly likely, and still seems like various people could run into, even if they had the technological acumen to follow the instructions you found