By “party”, I mean a physical social gathering of people for the purposes of having fun. It may be used in a sentence as “I am throwing a party!” or “Let’s party!”.
Basically what I am trying to say is the default “party”.

I’ve never been to any, and I have no idea how people spend their time on parties, so I am curious how you did.

  • Jimbabwe@lemmy.mlEnglish
    6·
    1 year ago

    Since I didn’t see any responses that directly answered the question of what do you DO, I’ve prepared a short guide for a generic social gathering. This guide may be inappropriate in some contexts such as a dinner party or event/tv show watching party, etcetera:

    1. Show up
    • Not at the exact start time, but at a minimum of 15-20 minutes “late”
    • Bringing an unopened bottle of wine or a 6-pack of beer, or another drink of choice is almost always a classy move.
    • If you drove, don’t park like an asshole. Consider the neighbors.
    • If you’re standing on the doorstep and you can hear music, it’s probably safe to just walk in (make sure you’re at the right place!). Otherwise, knock/ring doorbell.
    1. Party!
    • Get yourself a drink and/or a plate of food if snacks are out
    • Find friends and say hi! You should probably know at least one other person. How else would you have been invited?
    • Explore! Hosts expect people in their house so it’s generally okay to look around, admire artwork, investigate the music, go into the backyard, etc. Don’t go anywhere that’s obviously closed off, unlit, or otherwise not a party locale.
    • Talk and socialize. Meet new people! Ask your friend(s) to introduce you to their friend(s). Lightly eavesdrop on convos for something interesting you can talk about. Listen in general. Ask people what they like to do. Share stories about yourself! Pro tip: the length of your stories should be proportional to how well you know the person you’re telling it to. Just met the person? Suuuuper short stories. “No way! That reminds me of the time my cat was in the bathroom when she got hit by a car! The vet said she was very lucky to have a good friend!” (Confession: I used autocomplete to write that story)
    • Dance!
    • Find the host and complement their place, the party, the music, food, whatever. Just be nice. Offer to help if they look at all stressed.
    • Play party games like beer pong or whatever.
    1. Leave! Say thanks. Take your stuff. Cleanup whatever plates/glasses you’ve used. Don’t drive drunk. Don’t overstay your welcome.

    This was probably too much info. I have insomnia. I hope someone reads this.

      • rgb3x3@beehaw.org
        1·
        1 year ago

        At the “talk and socialize” bullet, I was imagining sidling up to some group I don’t know, eavesdropping on their conversation, and standing there like a creep trying to figure out the best time to say anything relevant to contribute, but failing and standing awkwardly in silence until I just walk away.

        I’ll stay home, thanks.

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
          1·
          1 year ago

          The part where you screw up is seeing yourself as a creep.

          I understand others have probably said that to you enough times you just internalized it but you gotta stop believing people when they tear you down.

        • Jimbabwe@lemmy.mlEnglish
          1·
          1 year ago

          Haha, I can definitely understand this feeling. It can be difficult to overcome! It doesn’t always “work”, and sometimes you will just stand there awkwardly. The good news is that nobody is going to care or remember. Seriously. You’re basically an NPC to people you don’t know. I’ve been to hundreds of parties in my life and have zero tangible memories of other people’s “awkward proximity”. Nobody cares about you as much as you do, which is slightly sad but majorly liberating.

      • sim_@beehaw.org
        1·
        1 year ago

        I mean, it doesn’t sound fun written out in bullets but parties are usually a great time for my own socially anxious neurodivergent ass lol. That said, besides work events, I haven’t gone to a party where I don’t already know most of the people in years. Jumping alone into a convo of strangers is my hell.

    • moreeni@lemm.ee
      0·
      1 year ago

      You’re not the first one saying a person should arrive late. Why is this a thing? Is it just a cultural norm in the West? Or is it a thing everywhere?

      • moody@lemmings.world
        1·
        1 year ago

        Not late late, just late enough that the host has had time to make sure everything is in order, or just to not be the first guest to show up.

        Usually a party lasts at least a few hours, so showing up 30 minutes after the start of the party isn’t “being late,” it’s just showing up to a party in progress. Unless it’s a specifically scheduled “arrive at 8pm” kind of affair, in which case the host would mention it and you’d be expected to be there at that time.

        • sim_@beehaw.org
          2·
          1 year ago

          I’d add it also depends on your familiarity with the host. Most hosts don’t appreciate if the first guest is a friend of a friend or distant coworker that they feel obliged to entertain while still busy with final preparations. Whereas if you’re a good friend, they can (often) feel more comfortable saying yeah make yourself at home I’ve got last minute things to do.