I want to be as gentle as possible and just kinda point some things out that I’m reading as a stranger. I don’t think anyone is blaming you or trying to shame you about the ass beatings. You’ve put up with a lot and not calling the cops kept it from escalating. It sounds like you’ve got solid boundaries in place now so hopefully you can look back on all of it a little more relaxed and from an outside perspective like I’m forced to have.

You gotta understand, we’re all a little crazy dealing with life. Mental health ranges from having a stretch, to full on institutionalized psychiatric care. A person can sit down with a therapist for years and never open up to get a proper diagnosis. Behavior disorders can have no neurological symptoms, chemical imbalances can go for decades without being discovered. Sometimes the systems just aren’t able to provide the right support because there’s no flashing red sign to point too.

He seems like a functional adult from what you’ve described. Probably have a lot of “ok” moments with him where it just makes you want to smack him upside the head when he starts doing the fuckery shit. There are so many other things to do in life besides shoving hamburgers in your pocket and giving your parents the worse algorithms after searching “help son stuck on bed post” online. I enjoy gaming and tinkering while also coming on here. I could be carving a special tree in my back woods for some play-time, but I never learned and/or didn’t have the wiring to enjoy sexual pain as a release and gratification (not kink shaming, just not built that way).

We all have stupid shit we could be getting into, thoughts that come into our minds or dark paths we decide not to go down. It’s that impulse control that keeps you floating above water. You could argue that he “physically has the ability to use that control”, but regardless of the wiring, it’s not being used. His actions have a negative effect on the people around him and are harmful, even if it’s behavioral and a “daddy didn’t love me enough” kinda excuse, you will still need support and proper guidance to address the issues (sometimes shit’s just too tough for people to handle on their own, a lot of us suffer in silence and some don’t even want to know anything’s wrong).

Support can have it’s limits. But at that point you seek other support mechanisms, we don’t really have a functional mental health system that can lead you to the next steps properly. I’m sure there was more recommendations to address his behavior but it probably became circular with no real progression.

A lot of “Ryan’s” are in jail because they stole from the wrong person or didn’t have a community like you guys were to him. There’s a lot of Ryan’s running around everyday that you pass by but they keep their shit together for those fleeting moments to seem normal. idk what else to say really, I hope you don’t have any more run-ins with the guy. Just sounds like a horrible experience and that’s gotta be stressful as a family. I feel sympathy for him though, hopefully he finds what he needs for a more peaceful rest of his life where he’s able to make the decisions that benefit him and those he loves around him in the future.

Yeah, I couldn’t help reading this and feeling extremely sad for Ryan. If they’re in their 50’s-60’s, the parents had tried to get him diagnosed as a kid in what, the 70’s?!? I’m not sure what they’re expectations are for people with a mental disorder, but it sounds like they’re expecting a trope and someone halfway functional is completely fine.

There is apparently a childhood full of sexual deviancy, which was never properly addressed and caused more anxiety and strain on his relationships his entire adult life. Dude’s stealing post-it notes and anything/everything regardless of value, that’s kleptomania 101

Kleptomania (klep-toe-MAY-nee-uh) is a mental health disorder that involves repeatedly being unable to resist urges to steal items that you generally don’t really need. Often the items stolen have little value and you could afford to buy them. Kleptomania is rare but can be a serious condition. It can cause much emotional pain to you and your loved ones — and even legal problems — if not treated.

Kleptomania is a type of impulse control disorder — a disorder that involves problems with emotional or behavioral self-control. If you have an impulse control disorder, you have difficulty resisting the temptation or powerful urge to perform an act that’s excessive or harmful to you or someone else. (link)

He’s doing these things, but I think the expectation is that he should “just stop” or “get over it”. He’s so out of control he can’t even stop him self while in front of other people or performing dangerous sexual acts, this is a person who has been untreated and needed help for decades.

That is neat on getting your kids into a better online environment where development isn’t purely incentivized. But surely you must know that’s not the end-all of a kids user experience when being online. You’re not always gonna have them on just your setup either, they will be at their friends and on foreign devices. There’s unfortunately not much you can do in that instance without making a huge fuss.

Is everyone just young without kids and had free reign on the internet and got by ok so it’s more relaxed to you? Were you in a situation where middle school and that age have direct communication to each other? I know teachers and other parents with horror stories of the shit that comes out. It’s mostly what would be considered old school frat boy or fraternity shit but at a way earlier age, some grow out of it but I imagine others just carry on since it never effected them and then we wonder about the trolls who exist on social media lol.

lol I don’t want to get lost in analogies, but these sweets are in their pocket. Their friends are giving them new brands and better sweets. You know what sweets you have in the cabinet, you have no idea how many sweets your kid is eating per day. This is all pretty generic through when considering the entire childhood. Of course you’re gonna be there and watch your kid so they’re not over doing it at age 4, but 12+? Eh, it’s an uphill battle you should stay vigilant on till they’re legally and showing at least basic adult responsibility.

If you’re nearby your kid when you’re in the park or they’re at school interacting with other kids (etc), you’re gonna be curious and want to make sure they’re doing alright but just kinda peripheral paying attention to their actions while mingling yourself. It can be treated respectfully and non intrusively by just checking your router (other devices), what kind of traffic is coming in and out (generic safety), and maybe something along the lines of just asking to see their app activity in their account to get an idea of how they’re spending their time without diving right into their private data.

I don’t really understand the disconnect going on here and maybe everyone is a lot more innocent than I was. I for sure was up to some bullshit online at a young age and that was dial-up. We’re really looking at everything like how the election went, social influencers, and young people getting radicalized online and just throwing our hands up saying it’s all good?

Oh boy, good luck with that outlook in today’s age. You can trust them to get into shit, I believe helicopter parenting has become prevalent because we’ve lost the “village” it takes to raise a kid. You used to be able to trust a parent to step in if they were over at someone else’s house and a discussion got nasty or a fight broke out. You would have neighbors who looked after the kids and would let you know if they were up to some shit. Now the kids talk on discord and other apps, completely unsupervised or at times even inaccessible (after the fact) if they’ve set it up right. You’ve got algorithm’s trained on millions of users to suck your kids in, never ending entertainment with minimal effort.

As a parent, who is completely conscious of everything going on around social media and technology, you will absolutely need to step in. Most adults can’t even handle it, you WILL have to be the parent who sets boundaries on the stimuli their brain craves but has a negative impact on their overall health. You don’t instill healthy eating into a child by giving them unlimited money and telling them to make their own decisions. You work with them, share your experience, let them cook sometimes but monitor over and see the results of their activity. Are they making healthy choices or ordering door dash?

Make it more difficult for them by setting restrictions they have to learn to bypass, even if it feels ridiculous it’s a whole different setup for effort-reward. It will interest them into getting into deeper components of technology and how everything works. It’s absolutely what kids are suppose to do, just like we always figure out a way to get away with shit which ultimately improves various skills.

It always makes me wonder what delicious flavors nature has provided that I’m missing out on. Just like Banana’s in the states, we have a “main” variety of apple which is “Red Delicious” (it’s just a name, not delicious). This abomination is the prettiest picturesque apple you’ve ever seen, but it tastes like cardboard compared to any other apple species. I wish we still had access to all the different varieties of banana’s that used to be around but guess we’ve fucked that one up.

Some helpful caption/subtitles is for videos which don’t have dialogue but add information to what’s going on. One example is primitive technology but there are plenty of other skill presentations/tutorials where the how and why is spelled out in the subtitles while the actual audio is just peaceful melodies to enjoy watching someone work too.

ok, I was gonna be facetious and post the video mockingly but it’s actually kinda funny. It seems from the clips it actually tries to follow the ball but keeps getting distracted by the referees big beautiful bald head. Future AI-AR(artificial resources instead of HR) discussions probably like, “wtf guys? You told me to track these things!?!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMx-2s7mZ24

who’s y’all and what are they trying to convert you too? Are ‘they’ in the room with you right now?

Glad you aren’t addressing any of the critiques and just gonna continue living the meme. Also, you should learn that there’s a neat little feature called sorting, there’s a controversial selection that’s really handy for shit takes to pop up in the first few comments!

I’m most definitely looking at the complainers right now to see if they’re actually listening or have just been harping the same shit for a year and now trying to blame everyone else for the problem. We need to flush out this “woe is me” crap, as if people haven’t been wondering for decades how they’re going to be protected or how could democracy possibly survive in such a capitalistic and corrupt system.

D’s lost, I wanna get back on the field and train with new strategies and directions. There’s just a bunch of butt hurt locker boys who wanna complain about members of the team instead of learning to work together in a different way.

username checks out :P

Oh no, mean spirited comments that don’t actually add anything useful!!

This you?

BuT BiDeN nEeDs To EaRn My VoTe!

If we manage to avoid a fascist takeover, it will be in spite of the naive progressive idealogues who think they have the privilege to vote their conscience.

It’s… almost as if you do need to earn people’s votes after all. Everyone already spelled everything out to you almost a year ago on changes the Dems could make but still you’re wondering what Step 2 is?!?

Dems: We’ve tried nothing and are all out of ideas!, Third party, absolutely not!

Did a 30 day fast years ago, definitely need to look up medical information beforehand though. There’s some nutrients your body needs to function but it’s a short list which you can take with water (stuff that helps your neurons, etc). Was truly a different experience, would probably do it again if I had the time available.

Do you have any suggestions for those interested in learning about HVAC design principles? I’m currently far enough along in experience where I’ve discovered I know very little because of how complex each part of the systems can be. I’ve ran into so many questionable setups doing inspections but would love to be able to look at a unit’s specs and follow the runs making sure nothing immediately eye-catching is going on.

I have similar experience with Electrical and Plumbing, 99% of the time it’s common mistakes made by installers or not following code properly. HVAC is near impossible to fully grasp because of the code terminology and arguments over best practices. Even something as simple as a range hood gets people confused because of the exhaust type versus code requirements.

I don’t know why, but I read “stackable” and my brain went to “collapsible”. Was flabbergasted anyone was trying to mix dough in a rubber flimsy container lol. +1 for the stainless steel. All of the non-stick coating pans and pots are a complete scam of wasted money. If anyone out there hasn’t purchased stainless steel, just buy one pot or pan when you need a replacement. You’ll quickly realize you now have that item for life and it’s safe to use any cooking utensil you want.

would that principle still apply in the scenario of a window and wall being in the equation? I would imagine if that were true than more efficiency could be produced with a smaller fan inside ductwork vs a large unit which covers the entire cylinder size.

You do realize you don’t “own” anything on Steam right? Every dollar you give them is towards a “subscription” to play the game.

I’ve been watching Majority Report with Sam Seder. Watched Breaking points since they were on the Rising with The Hill. Something just started to slowly change with them when they broke off. There’s the constant Ad’s (which is understandable, but was excessive), segments hidden behind a paywall, personalities started to change after surgery then Kyle Kulinski got heavily into the mix including romantically. I don’t know, just seemed the show started to take over the lives of the hosts, Sam and Emma have been a breathe of fresh air on Majority (even when Emma drinks a little too much lol). The show is their job and Sam is pretty professional, decent daily live show with clips of segments also being uploaded.

Is there any valid reason why they would do this, like it’s demonstrably safer? Or is this a battle I can pick to shield myself a little from MS?

Thanks for the input?

For me, it’s any community of Tradespeople. I can find relevant manufacturer and adjacent code regulations for modern equipment or building techniques anywhere online. The problem comes from obscure-ancient technology that was discontinued 60+ years ago, the only references to those are on Reddit and very specific forums.

I recently ran into an electrical panel that was built in the 60’s and was promptly made illegal (split bus residential panel, no singular main disconnect switch). Even being trained and educated as an Electrical Engineer, it only gave me the ability to understand what the panel was doing, not the history and use cases of the past (since their use in residential applications is obsolete). I was able to find discussions between inspectors and electricians, how things played out with local authorities, and the on going debate of their practicality by actual professors discussing regulations and safety. I will miss these resources if they become unavailable at a future date (the whole enshitification process).

That being said, places with higher than average traffic (like reddit now) tend to give a lot of crappy answers. Lot’s of diy’ers thinking their way is best (whether it’s code compliant or not), and others who don’t care about discussion and only want to say you’re doing it wrong because it’s not how they would do it (and nets them the highest profit margin on a job). There’s lots of owners out there that are probably afraid to ask a question now adays because of the responses (same linux community effect), even though the information around it could be important.

Eh, anything linked on Reddit has it’s own link on here in regards to News. I get news from multiple sources offline and on so putting up with Reddit’s negative aspects isn’t worth it for me. I also enjoy the discourse on here a lot more, Reddit responses seem more of a “bubble” than the entire Lemmy community you’re labeling.

I’ll share 2 semi-recent posts I read as an example of why I’m on here instead of Reddit. Btw, both of these posts are about the same BBC article but obviously paint a completely different picture.

Reddit : Crew trapped on Baltimore ship, seven weeks after bridge collapse

Top 4 Comments (1387 total)

• holy shit its been 7 weeks since that collapse? (13.4k upvotes)
• Part of the ship, part of the crew! (4712 upvotes)
• I think “stuck on the ship” is a better phrase. “Trapped” brings to mind being wedged under a fallen brace or something. (8388 upvotes)
• So not trapped just maintaining the ship like they’re paid to do. (5756 upvotes)

Lemmy: They detonated chunks of the bridge while sailors are on board because the US won’t allow them shoreside.

Top 4 Comments (30 total)

• This shit is extremely weird and happens all over. For some reason sailors are just absolutely not allowed off their shitty falling apart ships and have to stay on board even after the owners vanish and leave them hanging in the wind. There are sailors trapped in this situation in ports all over the world - the ships are too damaged to sail, or the owners vanished without paying port fees and the ship is impounded, or whatever. Weird shit. And all these sailors, mostly from global south countries, are trapped. The country they’re stuck in won’t let them off the ship, they have no way to pay for port fees or fuel and sometimes even food or water. It’s utterly fucking bizarre. I don’t think it’s a large number of ships in absolute terms, but it is common in the sense that at least a few ships are trapped in this limbo all the time. There’s this whole world of ultra-shady shipping with ships that are registered in sketchy tax haven countries, or have no registration, and they get abandoned all the time. And sailors in general just get treated like shit. A lot of sailors come from poor global south countries and get treated as disposable. Terrible conditions, bad or no support from the ship owners, if something goes wrong they can be stranded and totally fucked. It’s a mess, like a serious problem for workers. @Frank@hexbear.net
• the FBI still has their seized phones and shit, so not only are they stuck on a damaged ship they might be unable to reach out to family and friends (not sure what the communication/internet situation is on a ship like that). @nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net
• If you think this is wild you should read some stories about stowaways. I know a guy who sailed with a dude who had been a stowaway on danish ships for a couple decades, and that was a nice story. A lot of the stowaways get tortured and/or killed and then dumped in international waters. A stowaway is any person who is not on the ships’ manifest. Lot of refugees that just… disappear. Stowaways can be made to work while they’re on your ship, though you have to provide them lodgings and food. There’s a lot of people who get found on ships, are made to work and then are unable to leave the ship because no country will take them. Then they’re just stuck there forever. @Egon@hexbear.net
• How the fuck is “you have to let people on cargo ships into your country at least temporarily” not in any of the treaties we have regarding international shipping? @ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net

I just don’t have the time to read through 1300 joke comments to get to the 30 or so of actual discussions I’m interested in. The fact that the top comments are just arguing over terminology semantics used in a title (and not the conditions or situation these people were forced into) isn’t something I wish to waste my time on.

If lemmy.ml gets to be like Reddit, I just have to move to a smaller instance and I’m done.