If you believe retaliation to be a reasonable excuse for being an asshole, why did you delete your comment?

And what exactly was the injustice you feel that you have suffered from the comment above it?

I provided nothing but quality respectful posts

Haha well as much as that mindset helped me (and yes transformed some Sekiro fights from hard as hell to seeing how quickly I could put them down), a lot of Lies of P still came down to desparate messy scraps for survival. Especially in NG+, I got smashed by that damn green monster so hard

Yeah I feel like it would be a nice in-between option for ya, as you mentioned the second phase troubles in your edit. It really is harder to learn a second phase when you’re only getting through the first on every 5th try or so (Laxasia was a pain in the ass for this, I never really got a good feel for phase 2, just managed it somehow on a lucky run with wild and terrified inputs haha)

I think having Sekiro as my first soulslike taught me that there’s a big gap between surviving a phase and really nailing a phase though, so I try to take that with me and get phase 1 to point of just warming up. And looking for more and more windows to inflict damage - it’s amazing how quick some of the fights can be when you find more of them

My only soulslike games have been Sekiro and Lies of P (some bloodborne years ago but didn’t finish it).

Like others have said, play the way it feels right to you. I get that you’re saying it’s somewhere in between - getting frustrated solo, but too easy with summons. If you get to that point again, maybe try using summons to learn the boss (EG get to the second phase every time to then learn the second phase) but don’t allow yourself to complete it during that round. Then when you feel ready, back to solo.

Personally, what I enjoy about these games is the design of each encounter. I feel like I only experience the full intended design of the fight if it’s 1v1, hitting a boss that is attacking some other npc isn’t engaging to me. So I don’t touch summons.

If the game is well designed, even a really hard boss should feel fair - when I die, I should be able to understand what I did wrong and what I still need to learn, and once I’ve seen it all I need to hone my reactions to each tell and pattern. Then it doesn’t matter how many tries it takes, as long as I’m still enjoying that process (yes it’s still frustrating at times but that usually just means the win will feel even better).

If I’m not enjoying the process, I’ll put it down for the day, and play again when I’m into it. If it’s so bad that I don’t ever feel like playing it again, then that’s that I guess. Hasn’t happened yet (except Bloodborne, but I wasn’t as much of a fan of the genre back then, will play it again at some point. Remaster when?)

I mean, yes. In some cases on some issues, some people get offended at things that are frankly a waste of anger.

Agreed. Though I’m not sure how this is a good example, as the PR just fixed it without any anger or offence taken.

Then, there was anger after the PR got rejected because apparently being inclusive to women is ‘political’. This is where you can see that the maintainer didn’t just make a mistake, they made a choice and are sticking with it for reasons. This is where it becomes an issue.

Ah, women are just choosing to be unreasonably offended by the patriarchy. Got it.

Also - this wasn’t even about someone being offended. It was a quiet PR to fix a grammatical mistake, and the reason given was simple and correct: the pronoun used was needlessly non-inclusive. It’s everyone else who has an issue with this that seems to be offended, in my opinion

Right, so continue that thought into why you wouldn’t be affected by it.

Perhaps you wouldn’t actually feel quite so unwelcome in an education role as women might in STEM. I did a quick google to see if teaching was as female-dominated as STEM is male-dominated, and while yes it’s very close, hilariously the first result was about how there is still a gender based wage gap issue even though it’s so dominated in the other direction… Interesting.

So while you might think you can really put yourself in their shoes by imagining yourself in a teaching role, now try imagining yourself as a woman in a male-dominated field, in a male-dominated society, in a male dominated world. Could be a little bit different, maybe

That’s great! Same here, to be honest. But I also realise why it doesn’t affect me, because as a man I’ve never felt unwelcome in these spaces purely on account of my gender.

Kind of like how as a white guy, I wouldn’t really feel much other than a bit of surprise if someone called me a cracker. I haven’t felt oppression and prejudice connected to that word, or any other that is to do with my whiteness. But I do NOT then turn around and say “well why are people upset about being called n-words? They should just move on with their day like I can!”

I’m also not a fan of the dark souls games, something compelled me to give Sekiro a try and it’s now one of my all time favourites…

So, not ‘exactly this’. I wrote that in my example an assumption had been made, whether I intended it or not.

Same as in the documentation this post is about, therefore the problem existed before it was pointed out.

The grammatical error to be fixed was the assumption in the language used. Both of these things are true. Pointing it out very simply, as part of providing the reason for the change, is completely normal

Ah OK, I think we’re getting to the heart of why you are saying that this wasn’t an issue.

When you say that the author wasn’t assuming anything, what exactly do you mean? If, for example, I write in a guide that if a user of my software does ‘a’ then he can expect result ‘b’, do you disagree that I am assuming my users go by he/him pronouns?

I might not have done it with intention, but there is an assumption being made there. Words mean things.

You seem very, very sure of there being “LITERALLY” no problem with the gendered pronoun being used for an unknown user.

Instead of hand-waving it away as the author being male and just prefering his own pronouns in his writing, we could maybe consider where it is being written and why it might feel particularly non-inclusive? ie: a field that has historically been very intentionally uninviting to women?

Also, it’s not like this was someone petitioning for a boycott over one assumed pronoun, they just quietly fixed the grammar and submitted the change. Absolutely nothing idiotic about it.

Well it’s been a while, so either I still managed to get lost with that, or I completely missed that mechanic… Well, I think even if I were told what area I should be in, I’d still feel like I needed to check off the 3 new paths I can now go down of the 15 currently locked to me. If that makes sense. I miss my map…

I loved Hollow Knight except for the same issue. By the time I gain a new traversal skill, I have so many paths to explore that I can’t remember them. Became all about meticulous backtracking, gave up.

Decided to give it another go. This time I found a map online, removed all icons and edited the image so it was just a simple outline with no spoilers. Printed it out. Marked it with notes and colour-coded symbols as I played. Made more progress, and exploration was way more fun.

Then I moved house and lost the map… I really love the game but just haven’t gotten the desire to try again just yet. No idea how everyone does it with just those way-too-limited in game map markers

Counterpoint - almost all jobs will have elements of this type of stressful fuckery. Use it as a learning experience, and do your best to navigate the constraints while maintaining professionalism and value to your employer.

It’s a balance; if it’s truly soul destroying then your health and happiness is more important, get out. However, the more you learn how to deal with this, the less likely you are to burn out in other jobs when they get shit like this. Not so that you can just suck it up and grind away for awful bosses, but so that you can give yourself the maximum options for you, and stress less while going through it.

You already seem to have the right mindset about trying to do this right, so the one thing I’ll say is this: everything in writing, straight away. It’s easy to get too relaxed about this when it’s all going smoothly, but then something catches you out and it’s too late (eg already been told not to bring it up again).

This part will feel awkward, but to protect yourself, you need to send your boss an email summarising your conversation and your understanding of the outcome (not updating). Frame it as a “I hear you, and I apologise for my previous insistence” if it helps smooth things over, but just make sure it outlines your previous queries and suggestions and their response to you. It’s the only way to cover your own butt in these situations, and it’s a great habit to get into after every conversation that has decisions or changes etc. Put it in writing as a summary: you can refer back to it later and it let’s the other person know you understood their position / instruction

Yeah, definitely more about the tone and narrative for me, so I’d go with that plan and see it through!

If you have the option, I would suggest going to a Dr before assuming anything is the only plausible explanation.

Personally, I found out about my neck / posture issues (even though outwardly I have decent looking posture so I never assumed it would be that), got some excercises from a physio and a completely different pillow, and that combo drastically reduced my headaches

Ahhh I wanted to love it, it’s one of my favourite scifi concepts explored really well, but I wish the big plot points at the end were told in the opposite order. Feel like it would have hit way harder, for me anyway

TW: suicide

Similar happened to me about 15 years ago, and it still bothers me. Mine was out of the blue though, nobody had shared anything remotely violent or gory in the team. One guy decides to share a ‘funny’ video with a subject line of ‘always search your detainees’ or something. A guy gets seated in a room by a cop, asks for some water, cop leaves, guy sits for a moment, then pulls out a handgun and shoots himself in the head. I had headphones on and still remember the sound of his last ‘exhale’ after dying. Fucked me up for a while.

In short, don’t stand for this shit. It’s no joke how much it can affect you if you aren’t desensitised already, especially if you aren’t expecting it.