Me

It’s been one of three things for me:

• Like having a cool friend you see a lot. Good memories, but never a relationship that lasted.
• Someone working out how to twist my own mind against me, controlling me for their own gain and never actually understanding that a relationship isn’t a transaction. (and hopefully that one isn’t stalking me on lemmy again, otherwise I or one of my friends will get harassed and I’ll be filling out an intervention order)
• The most beautiful thing that I didn’t know was possible, I thought I’d been happy before but when you meet the right person you really do just click and life becomes worth living. Never felt so good about myself as I did then, just hurt all the more to lose it so suddenly. I’ve written a lot about others I’ve only met briefly, songs about people who’d never think of me that way, but when it’s true love I just can’t. I don’t think anything I can say could really capture that. There just isn’t enough poetry in the world to describe how magical it is to look up at a pair of beautiful brown eyes swimming in a field of stars and hearing them say “I love you” for the first time.

Nah, I absolutely meant tickling. Black holes make empty space wiggle a bit and it produces particles.

The actual process is much more complicated ofc but that’s the picture in my head of the quantum field theory, if you tickle the surface of a still pond it’ll make ripples which is sorta the same thing.

Nah, I never even started a PhD mostly due to financial circumstances. But I’ve since realised I kinda hated academia because of untreated ADHD lol. I may go back to it one day after I’ve got treatment sorted but I really doubt it, I found my passion in music instead.

I’ll try and ELI5 haha. Think of a black hole like a battery, stuff falls in to charge it and then it discharges by tickling empty space into creating particles. The problem is that the particles it creates seem to be random, which means it acts like a big delete button for the stuff that fell inside. Due to quantum stuff, this shouldn’t be possible, so some process could exist to encode the information about the original stuff onto the particles that leave the black hole. Importantly this doesn’t actually mean the particles that leave have to be the same as what fell in, you just need to able to look at them and then reconstruct it. Kinda like if you scrambled a book in a way which makes it look random, but is actually a secret code that still has the whole story contained inside.

My research was to look for that information being written on the particles leaving the black hole, basically by comparing how space and time outside the black hole changes over time and seeing what it does to the tickling.

A really painful type of coordinate transformation I once had to develop to try and shed some insight on Hawking radiation near black holes.

Unfortunately the results were fucking ugly and I gave up trying to understand them, largely due to the fact that except under very specific circumstances they’re basically impossible to calculate (you get something similar to divide by zero errors).

Nice case:

Not nice case:

There was a ton more related stuff I could have spent a PhD working on, but life didn’t really allow it (and frankly I’m okay with that, I’m actually doing enjoyable stuff for the first time in my life instead of fighting my brain).

There’s basically no way to answer these questions using real physics I’m afraid.

It definitely can’t close it’s mouth faster than the speed of light. Yes it would have a strong gravitational pull, almost definitely so strong that it would just collapse into a black hole and not be able to exist. If it weren’t that dense, then it would basically just be a big diffuse gas cloud that couldn’t do much anyway, it would basically have to be a proto galaxy to not collapse into one.

If it’s using magic to exist, then anything is on the table.

That’s not entirely accurate, the force it applies to close it’s mouth would probably travel at or close to the speed of sound along its jaw, but it could reach the speed of light by applying that force if you ignore a number of problems. One of which is that it will turn into a black hole at that scale, it’s much too dense.

On your second point, it’s hard to make any of those into galaxy killers. Supermassive black holes exist at the centre of virtually every galaxy and don’t do a ton, and even quasars only have limited killing range as there are limits to how collimated a beam of radiation can be. White holes are more complicated and I don’t have enough space in a single comment to go into the nuances, but they’re about as harmless as black holes really.

The only thing I can think of that would destroy all life in a galaxy would also destroy the universe, and that’s to trigger a false vacuum decay, but that might not be possible anyway.

My #1 tip is wear a mask on the plane if you’re flying. You don’t want to get sick, it’s an instant end to the holiday.

The other tip would be to pack relatively light, you won’t need a lot of things you might want to bring, just keep it simple.

Yeah, fair enough. Best of luck, you deserve happiness and I’m rooting for you

I’m so sorry that you had such a horrible journey, but I’m so proud of you for making it this far

HELL YEAH!!! I’m so goddamn happy for you!!!

egg_irl was a big part of it for me too, it’s an awesome place

That’s sort of my experience, but I’ll also add that if you don’t know that being trans is a thing then it’s possible to just not recognise what it is or that you can do something about it.

The real sign of being trans is if you go to egg_irl and start relating to almost everything lol /s kinda (sorry I haven’t got a clue how to link communities)

Tbh there’s no magic bullet to be sure, but if you fantasize about being a different gender that’s a pretty big one, cis people don’t do that.

I’ll add an edit: The only thing that confirmed it to me, was how excited I felt after I took hormones for the first time. Beginning them was terrifying, “what if I damage my body and I actually didn’t want this?” kinda stuff, but then I realised I wouldn’t have been waiting 6 months and been to all these appointments if I wasn’t, took the damn pill and felt amazing. It’s been ~9 months now and it’s made me insanely happy, that’s the only concrete proof I can offer to myself that I am in fact trans.

Pretty sure my inability to use a chair correctly is what makes me bi, thinking everyone is hot is just a side effect

I am trans and I can say I’ve never felt like I was in the wrong body, I think most of the time that’s just a relatively flawed way to describe an experience that can’t truely be understood unless you’ve experienced it.

Of course, no one has the same experience with these things and it’s entirely valid if everyone else does feel that way. For me it’s mostly just been that something felt like it was missing, and I fixed that when I began to transition. The main thing was how much happier the internal changes made me, estrogen changes how you experience emotions and being out to my family had a similar effect.

When it comes to “signs” the biggest was just being envious of people who had the freedom to express differently than me. I can confirm that it’s a gradual realisation, though honestly most of that was overcoming shame and internalised transphobia.

Yeah, appreciating the moment is the best wish ever.

Hell yeah!

Good luck and have fun!

I don’t have any written recipes I’m afraid, I’ve been making them up as I go.

I usually use that combination for a ramen base. I used dried shitake and soak them in a ton of water overnight in the fridge. The dried shitake are honestly kinda inedible even after being rehydrated so I don’t always use them afterwards. I should also soak Kombu but I keep forgetting to buy it.

If you mix that broth with the right amount of miso paste then you’ll get the amazing combination of msg and nucleotides that gives you some amazing flavours. Soy sauce helps too, some garlic, ginger and sesame oil make it perfect.

Good luck working out ratios because I just guess everytime based on the size of my bowls 😅

That’s certainly the hope, but I don’t think that’s the way it’s going so far. The little I’ve read about it suggests it’s going to use a considerable amount of energy, there’s probably going to be a lot of research on the environmental impact. Other considerations include water usage, raw materials and waste, and at this stage it’s too early to say what those are going to be like.

I’m honestly not keen on just hoping it’ll work out, especially when capitalism is involved. It’ll be great if it does and I’m legitimately hoping for that, but there isn’t a great track record with this kind of stuff. Especially with the meat industry basically funding laws to stop it from being available in the first place.

I guess I’m worried about it being another failed magic bullet, and I’m just sitting here completely fine without it.

Fake meat has more of an appeal to me than lab grown meat, or it used to. It was kinda interesting when they were unique flavours marketed as alternatives rather than accurate immitations.

Honestly the food science is one of my favourite things about being vegan, I can cook way more interesting meals than I could as a carnist because I’d just use meat as the main flavour which works but it’s kinda lazy. Let me make something with a little miso and shitake broth and you’ll be in love