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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: April 26th, 2023

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  • It’s bound to happen, right. However, it’s a thing I have to learn how to deal with and I’m pretty certain I’m going to finish that process as a different person.

    Interestingly, being there at the bed wasn’t that hard. It was just the right thing to do and I would always want to be there again.

    The part where I’m missing him hard is when I feel like picking up the phone because something good happened but then I realize, no, not today, not tomorrow either, never again.


  • Yep. I held my father’s hand when he died. When it was over I hugged him and told him we’d be okay on our own now and that we’d manage.

    I was mostly right. Mostly. The waves came and went and I thought I’d be over the worst - but now, a year later I sometimes miss the guy with a pain that feels like it will never end in that moment.

    I planted a tree and put a bench under it at the end of a small valley where I now own some meadows and where we used to go together and chop firewood. When it gets too bad I take my dog up there and sit down and tell my dad what’s going on.