It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?
I’ll say on the topic of labels: if you find one that fits, great! Go with it. You don’t need them, but they sure can help with a sense of self.
My issue with labels is that they can also be imprisoning in some way. If you say; i am this, then you might feel that there is something wrong if you don’t fit in it a 100% But if they help, then good :-)
At the same time they can be great communication tools. I use the label lesbian as a way to inform people who I might be attracted to as well as who I definitely won’t.