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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 22nd, 2023

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  • Sorry to be very late to reply.

    I know two people who were Christians in Afghanistan, they are both now in North America. When they were found out, they fled their homes with little more than the clothes on their backs to India. They did not know each other in Afghanistan (they came from different states), but became friends in India. One fellow was there for 7 years, the other for 14 years. India does not recognize refugee status, therefore they were undocumented (illegal) people with no rights or the ability to work legally. They got by by doing under-table work for cash and by the kindness of others. They still faced attempts on their lives in India, too, by other Afghan Muslims living there. Since they were not there legally, they could not go to the police to report the assaults. The guy who was there for 7 years, he was sponsored to leave India and go to another country as a refugee. After he settled and eventually became a citizen, he started the process to sponsor his friend whom he’d left behind. They, and their church, are now sponsoring more refugees.

    Are they okay? That’s hard to say. I mean, they’re doing much better because they are safe, but they have certain behaviours borne from their hardships and traumas. They are very mistrustful of the government, for one; it’s basically unbelievable to them that there can be government programs that are beneficial to them. There must be strings, or some way for the government to spy on them. Sometimes I see self-soothing behaviours, like one guy kind of holds himself and rocks back and forth. They need therapy, but that kind of thing is not really within their radar. But they are still compassionate people who are very hard-working and dedicated to helping or saving others who were in the same situation as they were. I don’t think they will ever have “peace” so long as there’s more injustice to fight against in the world.



  • I’ve found this to be true in general once I started working. I don’t feel kinda this was a thing when I was and was integrating with other students. I had to readjust my “responsible” self who actually would follow up (to people’s horror) and tell myself it’s a polite saying that people don’t mean. Like when people greet each other with “How are you?”, they generally actually do not want to know how the other person is doing. You’re expected to say “fine” or “good” and deviating from that is violating an unspoken social contract.







  • People are saying being funny and having confidence, and they’re right, and I’m going to tell your why. When being around you makes someone feel good, they will want to be around you more. That’s not exclusive to romantic relationships, it’s true also of friendships and business relationships, too.

    An acquaintance asked me out not long ago, I declined. His looks had nothing to do with it, it was his negative personality. The few times I’d talked with him, all he ever did was complain about stuff. Complaints (without solutions) are inherently negative. I don’t need negative energy in my life. A romantic partner has to make life better.

    If your expectation is for someone to come and make you happy, then you are a happiness-sink. You drain joy from other people instead of mutually building up each other. No one wants a joy-drain, and I’ll be honest with you, your attitude is one of a drain.

    So, the question is, how do you make a someone’s life better? Do you being laughter to her? Do you make her feel safe? Do you give her confidence in herself? Do you bring interest to her life? Do you make her feel heard and seen? And to be clear, someone should do all those things for you mutually, too. Two people should be building each other up.

    The last guy I wanted to ask out (but he abruptly lost his job and had to move to another city, so I never did) he was in his late 20s and already balding quit a bit, lanky, and has terrible posture. Physically, he not very attractive. But not only was he very funny (a good start), he was also doing his masters (intelligent and hard working), played musical instruments (passion and interest), and spent a lot of time volunteering (kind and caring). Everything about his personality drew new to him. (And honestly, next to that, what positive would I have brought to him?)


  • As a fountain pen user, I would suggest against that unless you know it suits her personality. Fountains pens require maintenance, and certainly it’s easy maintenance, but it’s definitely more work than a ballpoint. They are a hobby, and if it’s is not her thing, she’ll never use it.

    I would instead recommend a nice ballpoint pen set where the ink can be replaced when empty. Something she can use without having to think about or maintaining it.


  • Mostly just Discovery and Picard is kind of halfway there.

    SNW is a really fun watch once they’ve dealt with Pike’s future (which they kind of really have to). Personally I like that they go for different genres, but I can see why some people might not like that if.

    Lower Decks is a riot and a half and I think it’s my favourite Star Trek, but it might be kind of cheating because it stands on the shoulders of all the other shows.

    Prodigy is quite a bit different from the other shows, but it’s full of optimism, hope, and friendship. It doesn’t start out that way, they’re all very suspicious of each other at first. They grow into it as they learn more about themselves and each other, and aspire to be part of the Federation and Starfleet.



  • I went to a non-uniformed elementary school (which has since adopted a uniform), a uniformed high school, and then university which was obviously non-uniformed. I much preferred the uniformed years because I don’t care one whit about fashion I never had to think about what to wear.

    Granted, my high school uniform had a lot of variety, considering. There were two cuts/styles for the long sleeved shirts, a short sleeve shirt, polo shirt, knit sweater, knit vest, knit cardigan, 1/4 zip sweatshirt, and blazer, which could be mixed and matched as you liked.

    I don’t remember how the conversation came about, but in a previous office job, some discussion (among us low-level employees) came about regarding an office uniform. Most people were horrified by the idea, but I was totally for it.







  • As a non-Christian, I never made that Xmas connection.

    Well, as a Christian, I wouldn’t feel bad about it because the poster is not correct. The X in Xmas does not stand for a cross, it comes from the Greek spelling of Christ which is Χριστός. The chi-rho symbol (☧) is an imposition of the first two letters (Χ and ρ) and is still commonly used to refer to Christ in some denominations.

    As a bonus: if you’ve ever wondered (or not wondered) why some Christian symbolism uses a fish, ἸΧΘΥΣ (or ICTHYS) is an acronym for Ἰησοῦς Χρῑστός Θεοῦ Υἱός Σωτήρ, “which translates into English as ‘Jesus Christ, God’s Son, Savior’.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichthys) This has been used since the first century.