Highly recommend IGNEA if you like melodic metal. A few faves:

Jinnslammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF_qqeXzM4g

Disenchantment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnV9vpEit6E

Mermaids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU9WFEwsQQw

But gosh their stuff is just all awesome.

They don’t. My local shop has a waiting room with coffee, sodas, Wi-Fi, and seating/desks. Plenty of people (myself included) bring their work with them to the shop while their car is fixed. Also I’ve definitely seen people driving around loaner vehicles from dealerships before which is kinda a solution?

But you’re right that it sucks that our society has designed places where it’s impossible to get around without a car. My car shop is a short bus ride from my house or a slightly longer walk. If I take my car to the dealership, which is farther away, home is a bike ride away or I can go to the shops nearby. I’d guess this is the case in most denser urban areas except maybe some US cities which are just terribly laid out.

Aw damn thanks for fixing that! Yes I wrote it as a list and yes I forgot the double space. Still haven’t figured out bullet points in lemmy

Advantages of bras:

• Look nice (if you’re into that look, which many people are)

• Keep your nipples from chafing

• Support/containment for larger boobs

• Keep prudish people from being mad at your nipples

• Can be worn without a shirt for sports if they cover enough real estate

• When breastfeeding, help catch/absorb leaks

Disadvantages of bras:

• Uncomfortable if not fitted right
• Sweaty as fuck on hot days
• Expensive
• Many have to be hand washed if they are fancy

I would say I wear bras about 30-50% of the time and it’s usually for either support/chafing prevention or looks. The rest of the time I can’t be bothered. I’m also lucky to not have super large breasts. I know women who do may find a good fitted bra to be more comfortable than no bra.

When I was breastfeeding I wore them all the time though because it is super awkward to leak through your shirt in public.

Edited to add bullet points bc I suck at lemmy formatting

Cargo e-bike. Errands are fun now and I get way more exercise. It’s hands-down my favorite way to get around town.

Basket of old t-shirts cut into washcloth sized squares. The used ones go in a basket beside the toilet to be washed with the rest of the laundry.

If we’re out of rags I just use TP. But you only need a few squares to dry off so it ends up using a lot less paper than if you didn’t use a bidet.

Cisgender woman here, I just wanted to add that if my husband were to come out as trans, that would not be a tragedy or something I wished he’d gotten figured out sooner for my sake. In this hypothetical scenario, if it somehow managed to make us incompatible as married partners we’d deal with it but people have gotten divorced for much worse reasons before. The worst part for me would be worrying if he’d been miserable during our marriage, because I love him and would hate for that to be his experience of our time together.

It’s really hard to imagine because AFAIK we’re both cis but personally I’d probably prefer to stay married to my spouse even if he changed his gender identity. I mean he’s still the same person I married and we still love the same things and have a wonderful life and child together. I dunno, maybe it wouldn’t work out in the end but I sure as hell wouldn’t be mad at him for something he couldn’t change.

Anyways, my point is you don’t have to assume that your relationships with cis people will all get blown up if you do happen to be trans. I appreciate the urge to have your ducks all in a row before embarking on significant life events but the truth is that marriage and adulthood is super messy anyways. If you marry someone and have a kid with them the odds are good you will have all sorts of chaotic events to deal with- physical illnesses, mental illnesses, kid stress or illness, weight gain or loss, money trouble, job changes, changes in personality with age, the list goes on and on. The trick to being happily married is rolling with the changes, working hard at your partnership, and being committed to your partner, not having it all perfectly lined up at the start.

Audiobooks+ some other mindless activity shuts my brain off really well. Find a series you love that your library has and pick up a new sudoku or other puzzle app and go to town.

If you’re having trouble finding books I recommend a long sci fi or fantasy series. The Expanse is great, or Dune is also fantastically long. If fantasy is more your style maybe someone can recommend something but I know the wheel of time has a ton of books.

As for mindless things to do while you listen to audiobooks, either find a puzzle game or pick something up to do with your hands that requires few materials and is calming and productive. Here are a few that work for me:

Coloring (you can print out free coloring pages from the Internet like the ones here: https://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/adult-coloring-pages/)

Color by number

Crochet or knitting (lots of good online tutorials and making a scarf is a good first project)

Modeling clay (just reuse the same clay over and over again if you want to save money/supplies)

Yoga

Walking on a treadmill or riding an exercise bike

Weightlifting with free weights at home

Tai chi

Best of luck, I know this type of thing is tough. Try to stick to regular wake/sleep cycles as much as possible and get outside during the day if you can, it definitely helps. Sending hugs and hoping things get better soon.

Yeah… We’re talking about people who literally want us dead. And because it’s America, they likely own guns. Some of them are literal neo-Nazis or Christian fascists and might actually try to do you harm if you’re Jewish, Muslim, or gay. Making friends with them isn’t just painful and unpleasant, it’s dangerous.

Just to give you a sense of the type of things that you might have to sit through to be “friends” with these folks… My cousin had a kid in her Catholic school class write an essay comparing gayness to bestiality. Another cousin’s husband constantly misgendered my trans sibling on purpose. My parents’ neighbors hung a flag on their wall depicting a person pointing a gun at my parents’ house.

I’ll give you a pass since you’re from Europe and have no sense for the level of extremism embraced by our right wing political groups but trust me… If “just talk to your neighbors” worked we’d be doing it. As it is, your best bet is to avoid them knowing your politics and get out if you can.

Ataulfo mangoes. At least in the northeast US, they are reliably delicious and ripen on the counter.

Cortland apples

Yeah I feel you on that, the fieldwork stage of the job can get tiring really fast, especially with the more routine stuff like asbestos and LNAPL spills. Vapor intrusion work is less of a bear, we’re doing a lot of that lately and it’s nice because it’s indoors in the winter. I work in a larger company with a variety of projects so I’m not always doing the same thing and that definitely helps. In my current company people do tend to graduate out of the field positions fairly quickly (like 5 years) and move on to a desk job or at least a partial desk job but those first few years when you’re in the field a lot can be hard and maybe impossible if you have any dependents that keep you from traveling.

I think it depends on your field of engineering and how much you enjoy the work. I find environmental engineering to be satisfying and a very dependable/lucrative income compared to many other non-engineering fields I might have been interested in.

Add to that most other fields that pay similarly or higher (doctor, lawyer, etc) require more/costlier schooling and it’s a pretty sweet deal to be able to go into the job market with only a bachelor’s or masters and making a decent wage right off the bat.

Of course the same enshittification/race to the bottom for prices affects us too but I don’t know if there’s any career that escapes that entirely.

I would also think maybe certain engineering fields are more stable than others. Mine is particularly recession-proof since we’re driven by regulation (and bipartisan-supported regulation at that), not the economy. Massive layoffs are not that common in many of the other more “physical” engineering fields like structural, electrical, or mechanical either and even if you are laid off there is usually another company hiring. The skills are pretty portable as well so if you want to change careers you have a pretty good chance at being successful.

Is it a field of rainbows and butterflies? No, but it’s a hell of a lot better than plenty of other jobs out there and it pays the bills.

Environmental engineer. I clean up chemical messes like oil spills, and make sure that the resulting land is safe enough for people to live on it.

It’s fun and challenging, if somewhat depressing at times. Some things take a LONG time to clean up. On the plus side, I have great job security.

You’re not missing anything, people are just weird about it.

Also the person who named it “toilet-to-tap” is an idiot. Reclaimed water is “toilet to tap” in the same way that a vegetable grown in compost is “garbage to garden.” There’s a host of sophisticated engineering processes in between the two, making the water just as clean as any other treated drinking water.

Mixing with river water or putting the water in a reservoir and then pumping it back out again simply makes people feel more comfortable about it and, like you said, reduces the “ick” factor.

Trike! Or recumbent trike. Or an e-trike.

Get an ebike. It solves several of your cons at once.

No need to wear spandex or neon to ride on an ebike (or any bike honestly I bike everywhere and the only neon thing I own is my rain pants) just put lights on your bike and don’t dress all in black.

Can’t help you with the helmet, that one’s pretty important but there’s lots of nice looking helmets out there.

No getting sweaty on an ebike unless you want to, because you can crank the pedal assist if you’re starting to sweat.

Have literally never had an issue finding somewhere to park my bike. Sure have an issue finding car parking though. At the downtown garage I park at, cars are $20 an hour but bikes are free.

You’ll probably go faster than the cars if there’s lots of traffic. We’ve done a car vs bike race a few times when we had both starting the same place and going to the same place and the ebike always wins or is like 10 minutes behind at most.

Bluetooth speakers and transparent headphones both solve the music issue.

Many ebikes have extra cargo capacity, so grocery runs are easier. If you’ve got a large family then you might need a cargo bike or to rent a car periodically for large trips.

The only real downside imo is the weather if you live somewhere extremely cold/hot and the safety from riding near cars. The rest is easy to get over once you’re zipping down the road at 20mph getting those sweet, sweet biking endorphins.

I find it almost impossible to pick a favorite poem of hers, but if I had to it’d probably be “Tutaj” (“Here” in English) by Wislawa Szymborska.

https://medium.com/illumination/here-671e29357dcc

“Starvation Camp Near Jaslo” and “Foraminifera” are two other favorites and Clare Cavanagh and Stanislaw Baranczak have done an amazing job at the translations.

Did his share of the housework. My dad didn’t know how to cook well, but you bet your butt he did laundry, vacuumed, dusted, washed dishes, whatever was needed around the house he did it. And he did cook at least once a week, although it was always stuff like grilled cheese or pancakes.

Growing up in a household where both parents put in equal effort at home really set up the expectation for me that this is how relationships work.

My dad was also very loving and openly affectionate to us all. He would give us hugs, tell us he loved us and how proud of us he is, even to the point of tearing up sometimes. I love that about him and see it as an admirable quality in men.

Girls learn what to expect from men based on what they see their fathers do. Be kind, gentle, and respect your daughter and that’s the kind of men she’ll surround herself with.

I would have had a local barbecue joint cater the wedding instead of getting a fancy caterer. The food was the most stressful part of our wedding and it wasn’t even that good for the price and trouble.

Would keep the strawberry shortcake instead of wedding cake though, that was bomb.

Other than the food I wouldn’t change a thing. I married the right guy and he’s just gotten more awesome with time. And we had a (relatively) low-key wedding to start with so there’s not much I have in the way of regrets.

Jaws doesn’t quite fit the prompt but although it’s a good movie, the book is essentially a sub-par beach read. And there was no USS Indianapolis monologue in the book.