I know, we’re both predisposed to alcoholism, we’ve both had family die to it. I’ve struggled with it a little bit myself in my younger years. I know that if she chooses alcohol over us then there’s nothing I can do about it. And honestly it’s right at that point now. I love her and I always want to be there for her, but if she pushes me away I…I mean I know I deserve better and I know I can’t live like that but I’m just going to do my damndest for as long as I can. She’d do the same for me.

Have done this, not video, but texts. She was horrified and embarrassed and swore it would never happen again. And then it happened…like, thirty more times. So I don’t think that’ll work unfortunately

Thankfully I have a fairly large support network of family and friends I can rely on. I’ll be okay no matter what happens. I just want her to be okay too

Thank you, I did need to hear that. When I called up my brother he said a lot of the same stuff. I know there’s a possibility she’s going to choose alcohol over our relationship and I’m ready to recognize when that happens. But I don’t think it’s there yet. If she doesn’t go to this counseling meeting she scheduled then I’ll have to rethink things, unfortunately. I know from experience how bad it can be and how little you care about other people when you’re in that hole but sometimes you just need someone to throw you a rope down to help you climb up and I’m hoping that’s the case here. And that she chooses to take it and make the effort to climb up herself.

Oh duh, thank you, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself sooner. Yeah maybe I’ll go there too. Though I haven’t even opened that since they killed RiF

Unfortunately she doesn’t really have any support besides me. At least, none that she trusts herself. I’m trying to encourage her to make friends and branch out a bit but she’s very anxious and shy which, I get, I am too. And yeah I’ve been really bad about saying “no more drinking” and then letting her convince me with “oh baby it’s just ONE I PROMISE it’ll be fine tonight” and it never is. But I put my foot down last night and I do intend to stick by it this time because I’ve tried a gentle caring lax attitude and that didn’t work so this is it now I guess.

Thank you for this, I know she can get through this and come out okay on the other side. I hope she doesn’t have to almost die for that to happen though

Yeah I’ve tried directing her to the /stopdrinking community but she doesn’t want to do that. She’s had some bad experiences with people online. And I guess people in general. She does like to read though, maybe if it’s a book she’d be more open to it, thank you

How did that go for you? I know it’s a personal thing but if you would be willing to expand on your experiences there in AA a little I would appreciate it, thank you

Well I had issues with drinking myself when I was younger and I got through it decently fine. I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience yourself but I’m really hoping it doesn’t turn out that way here. Though I do know the possibility exists. When she’s sober she still says she wants help. As long as she doesn’t give up entirely on herself I’m not giving up on her either.

Thank you very much, I wasn’t aware of the distinction, I’ll look into that. I have been debating calling the national alcohol abuse hotline myself and just seeing if they can give advice on how to deal with this myself.

I do know the satanic temple yeah, neither of us are religious. She might actually be a bit jazzed if it’s from there honestly, thank you, I’ll look into it

That was my move tonight yeah. I’m just looking for help on what to do moving forward. I had issues with alcohol myself when I was in my early 20s so I can empathize with what she’s going through, and I got through it, so she can too

Neither of us want children and yes I really true love her. I’m not planning on leaving her I just want to help her through this. I know she can do this and I believe in her and I’m not going to give up on her until she gives up on herself. I’d take a bullet for her no second thought.

Yeah she has an appointment with a non religious help group soon, AA would just make it worse for her I know. The thing is when she’s sober she really DOES want to get help. And then she gets cravings and she caves and it’s always just one but then just one turns into two turns into 6 turns into 12…She hates herself the next morning and it’s real regret. She wants help, and she knows she needs it, but she’s just struggling with actually going through with cutting everything out

Also if you haven’t heard the medical term for this yet, it’s called dermatillomania, if it helps you to put a name to it.