I had one couple who used my address for everything. They ordered a laptop with my email. ITunes, Netflix, disney+. They’d signed up for USPS’s informed delivery with my account. I could have stolen so much shit from them over the years. But I always tried to correct the issue.

It finally stopped when they used my email for their wedding registry. Instead of trying once again to do the right thing, I logged into the registry, removed all of their tasteful items, added a faux tigerskin rug (the kind with the whole head at one end), a bunch of this jewel-tone stuffed curvy furniture that would be perfect for a 70s fuckroom, clown-themed carnival games, a popcorn cart, and a shitload of baby items.

My partner did this, I just started responding with “What is it??” every time without moving. He was doing it because he hates shouting across the house, but when I responded that way he’d come to me to show me whatever he’d found/was doing/needed help with/sometimes kitten videos.

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