Those cringe attacks are so real! But very true, if we are so so mindful of our interactions we can’t come off as bad as imagined…

It was an abrasive statement, but as a vegetarian who still loves cheese and eggs, there is a lot of truth in it. Much US large-scale farming harms the animals, workers, and environment. The animal feed land could be used for crops. Eating primarily meat and little else is not nutritionally complete. Large swaths of the rainforest are cut down to raise beef cattle. End of the day you are unnecessarily killing an innocent creature because it tastes good. People don’t want to hear these things, they want a bacon double double. They want waygu. That’s the cognitive dissonance that makes people mad. Again, I eat eggs that aren’t always ethically sourced and who knows about my delicious cheese, but I’m not getting up in arms trying to claim I’m still a great person when I’m wrist deep in queso.

Thank you for your kind words. Logically I know I am not awful as I have friends and try to act with kindness every day. But when you seem to be the common denominator it can be hard not to think you are the reason. I’ve read you aren’t supposed to talk about yourself a lot, that it can be off putting. I try to use approachable body language, actively listen, remember when someone tells me things about themselves, but I am so in my head with social interactions I know I am coming off real weird, like I was raised in a cave. It’ll be ok ; I can always get more dogs to hang out with.

I’m really struggling with this right now. I’ve joined to some new interest groups, but everyone including myself, seems so guarded, every time I leave feeling like I’ve failed a barrage of social aptitude tests. I feel like so many adults have baggage that by 40 they’re spring loaded to overreact and overthink, they come across as unapproachable. Or maybe I’m awful, which is what keeps kicking around in my head.

here’s 98 ideas!

For me, outrage at tearing an image implies the subject is beyond reproach and that concept itself is extremely concerning / problematic.

There’s no chihuahua sub where we all post numerous daily pictures of our weird little dogs then tell each other in droves how absolutely lovely they are.

Same! My longest endeavor at the moment is getting my orchid to bloom prolifically (3 years), drying the blooms so they maintain their color (2 years) dipping them in epoxy so I 3D eternal blossoms and now I have 12 beautiful hardened orchid flowers I am figuring out what to do with. My husband has the same interest but uses more tech. We figured out how to print and assemble an impossible table to hold my miniature cactus. We both love tinkering for the joy of creatively problem solving.

I only have anecdotes, but as an American, it’s #1. It was my initial off the cuff thought. Buttholes are verboten here. Full stop.

Fair point. I was thinking about an in home aid, which my partner did for 7+ years with developmentally impaired adults. It was rarely dangerous and the employees were prepared for each unique client, which they could spend years with if they chose to stay. The lack of professional training is not ideal nor fair to either party, but neither this is world we live in and those folks need aids who care. If you want to mostly hang out with folks and make a meaningful impact this would be a way to do that.

Everything except world-seer can be done as an at home aid for the elderly or folks with developmental differences. Pay is shit and you may have to do personal care things, but you also mostly hang out with generally nice or at least docile folks. But then there also can be random anger and poop. Scarily enough you usually need little to no qualifications for this work.