nutlink

Some assembly required.

Do I have to pick only one? I wasn’t a very bright kid.

• Willingly let someone taze my testicles in exchange for a beer
• Chased black bears off the trail behind our house for no reason, usually with nothing more than a nearby stick
• Skinny dipping in a river known to be filled with leeches
• Got in a drunk argument with a raccoon, which led to my first underage drinking ticket because I refused to be spoken to in that tone
• Became friends with said raccoon and even met its kits once over stale day old bread I brought home from my high school job at Jimmy John’s
• Made a potato gun and accidentally fired it backwards, breaking the glass window in the garage
• Threw M80’s into the water to go fishing Crocodile Dundee style
• Believed a girl I barely knew when she said she was on the pill

I did when I was losing weight as a tertiary measurement of improvement behind weight and blood pressure improvements.