I thought about the profits and now I totally get it. Why are so many people trying to hurt the innocent money???

Are… Ummm… Is this flirting? Can’t it instead be “A penny taken bowling and then for ice cream” instead of going straight to pillaging?

“A penny saved is a penny earned!”
- Benji F

Stop it!

Okay, now do it some more…

How the fuck did my Fedora just bluescreen?? Crowdstrike!

*audience laughter, freeze-frame*

Nope, I think Elon is really onto something. Woke schools means we can’t go to space anymore!

LOOK WHAT WE MADE HIM DO!!!

This whole exchange made me feel better. Thank you for being you

Yes, I wanted to one-up your disbelief by pretending I use random text boxes to store personal information.

Maybe one of these days I’ll make a joke that’s funny instead of confusing…

!RemindMe in two hours to give my doctor my new SSN after my last one got stolen: 644-11-9217

No, that can’t be it. It must be something much less intuitive.

Sounds like my old Ulefone! I once dropped it while getting out of my car and it put a 1.5" diameter dent in the door frame.

The Germans will be furious

How do you do, fellow geriatrics?

Looks up

Everything!

Puts on foil hat

Oh gosh, I’m not sure I could even sift my way through that much toxic masculinity and confidently-incorrect content to even derive a coherent tldr. I guess that everyone is wrong and this 16-year-old post now only serves as a mile marker on the unfortunate decline of online courtesy?

You’re better off just watching the video linked by @fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net

That full body workout took me days to read the last time. I felt like I was watching an epic soap opera and was trying to track all the characters until I realized that they all just needed to hug and communicate better

Wow, that’s a great fucking read!

Getting strapped to the floor of a Dragon sounds like a great plot for a space thriller

It’s gonna be really difficult not to piss on my pants through the crevasse under the toilet seat with this guaranteed boner material

Fat Texan checking in: my blood is 1/3 ranch