WideEyedStupid

My thoughts exactly. Though maybe I could have handled it in a way that didn’t involve me calling her a racist in a crowd of people. But I’m glad at least I didn’t stay quiet about it.

I’ll start by saying my skin is really pale. Like, ginger “burn after 5 minutes in the sun”-white. Thus I don’t personally experience racism often (although of course I do notice it around me a lot, because fuck are there many racists), nor do I think it’s even comparable to how bad it is for other people. But this one time caught me so off guard, because this woman actually thought she was giving me a compliment and she had no idea how fucked up it sounded.

One of my parents is white, the other is mixed. That side of the family has roots in Suriname. When I told one of my colleagues about it, she told me “wow, then you really got lucky with your skin color!” Like wtf? And here I am, always jealous of my sibling, who can actually walk in the sun without burning up like a vampire.

I often wondered if I was making too big a deal out of it, because it pissed me off. I called her a racist and never talked to her again. Luckily I don’t work with her anymore.

Huh, you learn something every day. That’s very interesting, but it must be so weird and confusing to experience this.

I think I know what the user means. Trust me (yeah sure random internet person), you have no idea how often the most innocuous stuff gets used as an opening, a justification to keep bothering someone. Some guy asks for the time? Suddenly he also wants to know your name and do you want to have a drink? Some guy asks where x building is? Oh well, have you lived here long? I’m new here, maybe we could get together? Or it’s “does this tram go to x station?” and then, fuck, you’re stuck in a moving tram without an easy escape and the guy keeps asking why he can’t have your phone number, even though you already said no and then you lied about having a boyfriend, but still he won’t give up. Playing along with someone, being nice, trying to help them with innocuous stuff, 8 out of 10 times it doesn’t end there at all.

Before I get a bunch of downvotes: No, it’s not every guy. We know it’s not every guy. But most of us don’t want to sit through 6 creeps just on the off-chance of meeting a nice person. It’s just not worth it. And yes, it’s always guys who do this. I’ve never had a woman following me after giving her directions. I’ve never had a woman keep pushing me after I said no (and I’m sure they exist, crappy women exist, but usually I feel perfectly safe responding to women - so sue me, confirmation bias).

Edit: Just to respond to your specific situation. I think I might have given you the high five if you’d been at it for a little bit and I’d seen you do it to everyone else and not acting like a creep. The fact that it’s a bar scene and a social environment makes it all a little easier, imo. Most of my examples, real experiences btw, always happen in non-social scenes, like when going to work, or while doing groceries, etc. So in your case, I probably would have. But just to point out: it wasn’t about you personally, basically a bunch of creeps ruined it for you.

Maybe in a minority, but definitely not alone. I agree completely. Does absolutely nothing for me when someone touches my breasts, like at all. They may as well just been touching my back or my arm. Nothing erotic about it. But you know, it’s not like it’s particularly unpleasant either, so I guess, who cares? At least they like it. :p Well, as long as they’re not trying to actually pinch or bite my nipples because that’s very uncomfortable, and at certain points during my cycle it’s downright painful.

I’ve never had any other social media (aside from reddit and now lemmy) and I don’t spend hours a day doomscrolling here. I’m thinking if I did that, I’d go crazy.

Everything in moderation. This definitely includes doomscrolling. Not good for your mental health.

I had to look up the meaning and now I can only imagine the confusion this person must have felt, before he figured it out, lol.

I have honestly never heard of pingas and pootis, or fan flashes. Are those American things? Or was I already too old for these things 20 years ago. Late thirties here.

Edit: and even after skimming this thread, I still have no clue what skibidi toilets are, haha.

I mostly read series, and my favorite is Malazan Book of the Fallen by Steven Erikson. The Silo series by Hugh Howey a close second.

I’m not really someone who reads many standalone books, because I love getting lost in epic/long stories (for this same reason I barely ever watch movies and stick with series in stead), and I hate how by the time I’m really getting into a book, suddenly it’s over… But hmm, for a standalone book I’d have to go with The Book Thief by Zusak (which btw, never seen the movie, maybe I should sometimes).

I loved Divinity:OS/2 and figured if BG3 was even half as good, it would be worth the money. Waited until it was out of Early Access, then bought it. Worth every euro. And the soundtrack is a masterpiece! Not that I expected any different.

Battlestar Galactica, Haven, Fringe, Orphan Black,

and there are a few more I don’t skip more often than I do, like DS9, Stargate: Atlantis, Rome and the Tudors.

Some series just have really nice intros!

Ditto! No tree, no lights, no presents, no big dinners or parties. Just a few days off, which my husband and I spent with our two cats.

I recognize everything you’re saying, and I know it’s presumptuous, but I doubt it’s actually hatred. It’s a very visceral reaction that turns into frustration because it’s often situations you can’t change or extricate yourself from. And if there’s no outlet, anger/rage is one of the easiest emotions. Maybe you should look up Misophonia and see if you recognize it. It won’t fix your issue, but it might help to put a name to it, to know you’re not crazy and you’re definitely not alone. For me it’s not just kids, I also need to get away when I hear people eat. Loud eaters just kill my apetite instantly and the response to it is physical. I just can’t be around it.

Whenever kids make noise, I get this uncontrollable, physical reaction. It’s kind of like nails on blackboard stuff, you know, but a thousand times worse? All it makes me do is wanting to get the fuck out of there. I can actually FEEL it. It’s visceral. And I know they’re not doing it on purpose, and I would never ever let the kid know, because it’s not their fault. But I just can’t deal with it. It’s so bad that I’ve gotten off buses/trams when some baby starts crying, just to wait at the stop for the next one. I’ve actually exited stores, when kids are being loud, which as you know, in some stores is pretty useless because there are almost always kids around. Internet really saved me there, I haven’t been shopping in years, just order pretty much everything online. The worst time for me was a flight where I got stuck with a screaming 4-year old for hours, which actually brought me to tears from frustration, because I couldn’t leave and I couldn’t blame the kid, especially because his mom was a total moron and only made it worse by yelling. Luckily the flight was only a few hours across Europe and not transatlantic, because I might have offed myself.

Sadly I don’t have a fix for you, but if you find one, please let me know. ;) I’ve been luckier than some, in that I only have one sibling, who also doesn’t want kids, and while I do have 2 cousins with kids, we never see each other, which is mostly because I moved abroad over a decade ago. Avoiding places where kids congregrate is easier if there are no kids in your social circle, although of course you can never avoid them 100% of the time.

When my husband and I started living together I actually told him that he had really bad aim and I don’t like having to sit in his piss. And that if he insisted on standing while peeing out of some weird sense of manliness, then I would choose not to clean up the mess he leaves behind all the time, so let’s see how fast it accumulates!

I especially don’t get it in your own home. There aren’t any other men around, so no need to act ‘manly’ and all it does is force you to clean it more often, which, come to think of it, probably also isn’t ‘manly’ so what? Do they just not clean their own toilets? Ew.

Anyway, dirty toilet seats are a choice. Any time you’re forced to use a toilet with piss all over it, it was someone’s choice to not care about the next person using the toilet. Many people have accepted it as normal, “it’s just what happens” - no, it is a choice. I still can’t believe my mother accepted it all those years, tbh. :p

My husband also said it has extra advantages to sit, like being able to pet our cats. So there you have it. Oh and we’ve lived in Germany for a couple of years now, and I was not at all surprised they have a special word for it. Germans have words for everything.

I can’t remember ever experiencing something like this…? Is it possible to forget about it, like a dream? Barely ever remember dreams. Or maybe some people don’t experience these hallcinations?