By not doing a New Year’s resolution. If you’re going to do something, start now, not in the new year. Leaving it to an arbitrary day when “everyone does something” just gives you an out when you don’t succeed. Just go and do it now. There’s literally no point in waiting and honestly a lot of reasons not to wait.
Based and true
The real new years resolution is what you started doing last year
As a huge procrastinator, it’s this thought hitting me that gets me to go do stuff, nothing gets you moving like it.
I’m glad I could help (I think?). I just think it’s funny, because imagine your doctor told you to stop eating so much meat because it was making your blood pressure high. Would you wait months to do so or start immediately? New Year’s resolutions haven’t really made any sense to me at all, and I think that’s a good way of thinking of it.
Made a New Years Resolution to quit drinking and cant believe I’m coming up on one year sober, i stepped down daily starting jan 1st with my least favorite beer drinking less every day for 2 weeks, then after 2 weeks I started drinking Non Alcoholic beer. The last time I tried to quit I did it cold turkey and had terrible Night Terrors, was able to to avoid them this time thanks to the piss water know as Miller Lite. Went from drinking a 6 pack of IPA’S a day for years, to drinking a 6 pack of Non Alcoholic IPAs once a month. Will be quiting beer all together with the New Year!
Congrats, man! Glad to hear that watery crap beer has a use!
Lmao right?! It really made that first NA IPA hit the spot when I finally quit. Last time when I quit cold turkey I literally woke up from night terrors and bulldozed over a dresser next to our bed trying to get away from whatever it was I was dreaming about, almost scared my partner half to death. Withdrawals are a removed and I didn’t have near as many thanks to that piss water haha
Wow, you did amazing
Thanks, its still insane to me that I am sober, even quit smoking weed a few months ago after starting up antidepressants. I wasn’t a pot head i just a serotonin deficiency.
Congrats! Check hop water if you haven’t already!
I made a resolution almost 15 years ago to never make another resolution, I’ve kept that resolution ever since.
Make a New Year’s Theme instead - CGP grey had a video on this. Then, when the first things you try related to the theme fail (or feel bad, or don’t make sense anymore), pick something else in the theme and try that instead.
Productivity themed year got me to:
- Learn AutoHotkey
- Setup a central collection of notes
- Use a calendar app properly
- Finish several (profession related) books
- Track my internet time
and more! And, for maybe the first time, I finally feel like I did something with this whole resolution thing.
How do you use a calendar app properly?
For me, actually put things in it, setup notifications for the day before (and on a device I actually see), add family, and check it before scheduling (some) things.
I came here with a similar discussion.
I kept mine by following this advice before I watched the video. The general idea was i wanted to have my week off in the holidays with my family and not be worried about the future, kinda evolved to a “how I view myself” theme would be the best way to describe it. Went hard at gym for 6 months before long term injury came up again, so focused on work and uni instead. Dropped one uni paper but got a- in the other, and turned my company around from 20% monthly loss to 10% profit.
For my age (late twenties) I wouldn’t say they are great achievements, but as a person which struggles a little bit in social settings I still feel proud.
- I went to therapy for the first time to learn more about my social anxiety.
- Actually told my feelings to a close friend, which again was a first, I got rejected, but at least I did it.
- Started going to the gym, progress is slow, but I feel motivated.
- Travelled with a couple of friends outside my country.
When things are in motion it gets easier, other than that for me it is constantly trying to get out of my comfort zone.
“Actually told my feelings to a close friend, which again was a first, I got rejected, but at least I did it.”
I gotta tell you: nothing more liberating than this. I’ve discovered I feel regret when not doing this kind of things. If I don’t make my move, then they get a partner, I’m haunted by the question “could that guy have been me?” But if I say something, get rejected, then they get a partner, I actually feel happy for her, for she got someone she likes, just like I want someone I like.
The important thing is to let things go after getting a no. It is your duty to do the best you can for the friendship to continue as usual. Got rejected? No big deal. Let’s move on. Cookout my place, everyone invited. Passive aggressive comments, making guilt-tripping faces or gestures, texting looong messages, or asking “why, why, think about it, give me a chance, what do they have that I don’t” etc, no. Don’t do that!! Plenty of fish out there.
Having come out of a relationship in my late 20s, I am sorely missing this. It’s been ages since I had a crush. Everyone I know is in relationships already, I can’t even find someone to reject me…
Mid-40s here. You’re probably in a dry spell. But it shall pass, friend.
It’s ok! I’m willing to wait. Good things are coming, I know that. And it’ll be better than jumping into something too soon.
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There is nothing stopping you from making that change now. Waiting until the 1st is an indication that you probably wont follow through.
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Goals should be doable, measurable, have specific steps and have a specific end point.
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I’ve done no alcohol, no social media, and no overtime. All separate years. The motivation was to prove I could.
Alcohol was made easy because I started taking an SSRI at the same time. Kinda filled the same hole.
Cutting social media was harder than alcohol I think. This was years ago but I had a pretty solid addiction to Reddit. I had to break the checking Reddit every second of downtime…I swapped it out with texting friends and family.
Cutting worked overtime was great. I worked at a place that required it but only as a yearly average. And at the time they allowed you to bank the OT and use it as PTO or take some extra money. I didn’t get in trouble for it but it probably hurt my next raise.
I enjoy the challenge of doing something new for a full year but some are too much and need a different approach. For me to change a diet I can’t just do it. I need cycles on and off to show my lizard brain what’s good for me. Then it can stick long term.
Keeping to a resolution requires resolve which is an emotion. You need to introspect and make sure that the resolution that you have chosen is consistent with the price you are willing to pay whether it is monetary or a personal desire. Prepare yourself for the cost. It’s easy to say you’re going to give up alcohol but your mind is going to try to sabotage you every step of the way. Keep your goals to yourself and meditate on them. Take some time out of your day to cultivate the feeling of resolve within you. Literally just remember the feeling you have when you have felt determined to finish something and cultivate that feeling. It’s a fire that burns within you that can become stronger if you feed it. Finally, don’t get discouraged when you fail. You will likely fail a lot but that doesn’t mean you should give up. Keep to your resolution even if you keep tripping up.
Mine was to stop having those stupid New Year’s resolutions. It worked.
To hike more than the previous year
I got quite a bit more than last year, literally hiked through my shoes. Well more that I put the final touches on hiking through my shoes. I got about 500 miles of dedicated hiking done this year. I’m hoping to do more this year but I’m going to include morning walks as a part of that number.
I hike to be free from the chaos of life (and my memories) and this year was a doozy. So the external factors pushed me to hike more and honestly I think it was a boon on my mental health.
Being out in nature is so pleasant on my mind and allows me to truly be me.
10/10 would watch the clouds float by all day again
Most things I’ve done were from changing the environment around me. Most things became trivially easier when I made more… So no fault there
I’d consider HARD goals, not just SMART ones
- Heartfelt - core/passion
- Animated - inspires/energizes you
- Required - needed for a larger objective
- Difficult - effort but also confidence creating
Is it something you can sustainably do, with your support system and environment and schedule, that breaths life into you even though it’s a challenge?
Are you working in that 80% max effort space (or whatever it is for gym nerds, you get the point)
People have lots of great tips for why resolutions fail and how to do them better
I heard another similar spin: pick a few areas of your life and have them be better than they are at the start of the year
Like say education or relationships with people, the goal is some kind of improvement by the end. You can go as big or as small within those afterwards.
I wanted to lose weight for my wedding. I was 230 pounds (up from about 220 pre-covid) and I wasn’t happy about how I looked or felt. So I got my wife (then fiance) onboard and told her I wanted to lose weight and started calorie counting. I set a goal of 185 by the wedding (September of the same year). I got there with 8 days to spare, and I love that I look fit and happy in all of our beautifully wedding photos.
The key is to start small, set attainable milestones, and have a support system. You need to feel and see success or you won’t stay motivated! I couldn’t have done it without my wife who helped by putting every calorie of every meal we made into the tracker. I made every five pounds a celebration, and a “cheat/treat” day. There will also always be set backs, and disappointing days/weeks. That’s where it’s important to keep perspective and be proud of how far you’ve come, and use that as motivation to keep going.
Start your resolution on December 1, and call the first month of progress a Christmas/Holiday present to yourself.
I once went 28 years without having sex, and then again for 7 years.
So whats the resolution? Is it work on self, find partner with low standards or more money for hookers???
